Sunday, February 23, 2014

A Difficult Time - How [Not] To Cope | Winter Blog Challenge

I'm pretty sure I've written about several difficult times I've had growing up and some things that have happened that sort of influenced who I am today. However, instead of rehashing these posts (because if you really wanted to hear the same stories again, you could re-read those posts), I'll take a different approach to this topic, cuz I know you "ain't got time for the same old stuff!" (I know I'm not funny, I'm sorry, haha).

Everyone goes through difficult times in their lives. Exactly what causes our feelings of stress, depression, and hopelessness really depends on how much you as a person can take before breaking down. There is no "right" way of dealing with our problems, but there are a few things that we decide to do that can definitely hinder learning, healing, and coping. So today, I want to discuss one of these things. Maybe a few of you have done this at some point or can relate to them.

There are times when you want to "reinvent" yourself. While the concept sounds nice - new year, "new" you type of thing - carrying it out can lead to a few problems. I remember a time when I had to say goodbye to people who were really close to me and I didn't know how to deal with it. I decided to become someone most people would like - something I don't recommend doing.

Like most people, I mistakenly thought that I had to become someone I completely wasn't in order to get by. At one point, I even started believing it. I changed my lingo in order to impress a certain group of people, I dressed differently, and the lies kept going and going. Until one day, I decided to maybe go back to wearing what I felt comfortable in. Some people noticed the change; some people even confronted me. I realized that pretending to be someone I wasn't made me even more unhappy than I was before. I counted all the lies I told, all the things I did just to impress someone else, and all the people who only liked the fake version of myself. It took a long while to strip off that false persona and get back to who I really was.

But I know so many people who go through this. There's nothing you can really do to "make" someone you know "snap out of it," but the most important thing as a true friend is support them. And if this is you, if you find yourself in this position where you know that you aren't being yourself when you know you should be, know that it's not going to ultimately benefit you. By putting on that persona every day, you're hurting yourself and the people around you. People don't like being lied to, and when they find out that you're not who you pretend to be, they're probably not going to take it well.

If you're in this position or know someone who is, it's important to remember that there will be people in your life who don't like you, often for no reason. And if you decide to come clean, know that you're the one who has to make that decision and possibly even face the consequences. But when you allow yourself to be true to who you are, you learn not to care so much about that. And, even more, you gain true friends, true lifelong friends.

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