Thursday, January 23, 2014

Proudest Moment (ft. Bullying) | Winter Blog Challenge

If you don't know what my Winter Blog Challenge is, read this first.

We all have moments that define ourselves; moments where we really shine and stand out above the crowd, or do something unexpected that might have even caught ourselves off guard, but in a good way. It's in these moments that you can rightly feel a sense of pride - your hard work paid off; you accomplished a great feat; or you stuck up for something you truly believe in, and it made a difference.

These moments of accomplishment, however, vary from person to person. To one, rescuing a kitten from harm's way might be the greatest thing he has ever accomplished in his life, and he couldn't be prouder. But in someone else's eyes - someone on the outside - his greatest accomplishment, and proudest moment, could have been getting accepted to one or more of the finest Universities. It's all a matter of perspective.

One of my proudest moments was actually a time when I stood up for myself. Someone I had been friends with - for the sake of this post, I won't reveal who exactly this 'someone' is - completely changed right in front of my eyes. I confided something in this person - something that we were both going through - because I believed I could trust them, and they immediately shut me out. On two separate occasions I asked if I had done something to upset them, and the reply was 'no.' This person then proceeded to lie to me over and over about the most mundane things, they made up stories about me to mutual friends, and kept as much distance between us as physically possible. As confused as I was, I decided that if they wanted to behave like a child for no reason, I'd let them.

Throughout all of this, I learned that what other people say or do is not your responsibility. If someone wants to try and ruin your reputation, let em go ahead and try. If what they're saying about you isn't true, your true friends will realize it right away. The gossiper will end up ruining their own reputation. And if your 'friends' continue to buy into their story, you don't need them. They're not truly looking out for you.

Finally, after putting up with this person's lies and people avoiding me because of what they thought was true, I decided that I had enough. I cut these people out of my life, not because I didn't like them, but because if they would unbudgingly believe lies, they couldn't have really known me or been a true friend. And to the person who bullied me, I sent a message, essentially saying: I won't put up with your bullsh** anymore. I'm a person, too, and you should have the common decency to treat me as such. I thought we were friends, but clearly I was mistaken, I'd appreciate if you'd leave me be from now on.

Just like many other people who find themselves in similar situations, I completely caught myself off guard. I never expected to stand up for myself like that. And there hasn't been a day since then that I've regretted the decision to finally fight back - with my words, not my fists - and cut people off.

If anyone else is in this situation, I'd definitely say that you have to find your own voice. Stand up for the truth, but don't rub it in people's faces. Whatever lies that have been said about you will be cleared up. People will see that you aren't insert lie here. Don't put up with a bully.

For those of you who might, unfortunately, be in a worse situation with a bully, there is always someone you can go to for advice on dealing with this. I know this is a cliche thing to say, but you are not alone. No matter what you may think, you are not the only person who's willing to fight for your life.

Here are some organizations that I follow on Twitter that really care.
If you ever need someone to reach out to, here is a list of people you can talk to:

Please call a Hotline/Lifeline if you feel like you or someone you know is in danger.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255) free 24/7
The Trevor Project Suicide/Crisis Call Center: 1-866-4U-TREVOR
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Also, check out these down to earth, awesome organizations:

Next: Meaning behind my Blog Name

You can find me on any of these links and more

Until next time, 

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