We are tired souls.
I don’t just mean we get tired often like the common effects of sleep deprivation – a plight the average student suffers year after year after year – although that probably helps a great deal. When I say “We’re tired” I mean our souls are tired.
Day after day we encounter those people who do seemingly everything under the sun: they’re full time students (straight A students too), they work full time or have multiple jobs, they take trips, they hang out with friends, they have hobbies and keep going and going and going…while the rest of us get stuck on one simple daily task and are burnt out.
I don’t understand it.
While these people type out their fourth paper of the day, make four hour long trips every week to heaven knows where, and come back with enough energy to do it all again twice, we sit at our desks and try to gather up enough energy to write 165 words, and the best explanation I could ever offer is that we’re tired souls.
People whisper in my ear: “Go out; have fun; make new memories; you’re only young once,” but I feel like I’ve lived a million lives in my mere twenty years, and I’m just tired of it.
I’m tired of the same old routines; I’m tired of taking classes I don’t need; I’m tired of the same people on my Facebook feed; I’m tired of being overlooked and undervalued; I’m tired of being called “cute,” because to me, that word is demeaning. And I’m tired of everybody passing me by like they’re moving through life at 200 miles an hour while I’m stuck in front of a police car in a residential zone.
And I know I’m not the only one in this boat, but it’s so hard to see anything else around you when the blinds over your eyes are so thick and the world you live in revolves only around you.
And I don’t know if it’s because I’m stuck in my own head day after grueling day or because I’ve been dealing with the same old shit day after day after grueling day, but I do know that I’m tired of it.
I am a tired soul.
[Now read this backwards, by paragraphs]
You can find me on any of these links and more